Sunday, May 22, 2011

Uncle Jimmy Has Been Rapturized


Uncle Jimmy is gone but I'm still here. The Rapture has taken my righteous Uncle Jimmy. He was here for the picnic, but disappeared sometime between the hot-dogs and Aunt Mabel's apple pie.
He was considered to be a religious man, despite his gambling problem. He owed a bookie named Big Al quite a lot of money.
He will be missed by us Left Behind individuals. Of course he will miss the new Harry Potter movie and would have liked the new health care plan because Uncle Jimmy kept falling out of trees and off of roofs, he was always breaking his legs.
If Jimmy were still around he might have ended up in some local land fill or rolled into a shallow grave in desert sands with his dead smiling intimidating pale face crushed in by large rock thrown from a huge man named Mucowsky alias Moose. His body raised and resurrected by hungry mange infested coyotes. His callus encrusted well gnawed thigh bone, later to be found by a sheep herder and hung above his camper wagon door as an example to the sheep to not stray too far from the flock.
Yes Uncle Jimmy was taken by the Rapture on May 21, 2011.

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