Friday, January 30, 2009

Down and Out in Wal-Mart Cheap Shoe Heels

Last week’s post was a bit on the Norman Bates side of things. When I was a kid, I was a little bit of an ant bully and I studied a lot of Mad magazines. I mostly grew out of it and I like animals, they taste good. I apologize for my bad behavior. I guess I am feeling just a bit down.....OK, I’ll admit it, I’m a REPUBLICAN! I’ll just whine slightly and tuck in my lower lip.

There once was a man named Obama
Who ran for election and won a
Presidential bid
Is what he did
And now his chair is in the sauna
A donkey once had much to hold,
all laden down with shiny gold.
As he’d voted for change.
The donkey spoke strange,
“The world looks so much brighter,
for now my load will be lighter.”

Friday, January 23, 2009

Bad Breath and Beyond

There was a couple holding hands at a department store. She wanted to shop for new clothes, while he wanted to browse the sporting goods section. They tugged and tugged at each other till they pulled each others arms right off. Now they both spend their shopping time together in the prosthetics department.

I chanced upon a man who was trying to put a square peg in a round hole. I told him, “It couldn’t be done.” He responded angrily, “buzz off!” Luckily I had a wooden mallet in my back pack. I took the square peg from his hand and hammered it into his round head.