Sunday, February 15, 2009

The Sky is Falling

Space junk is colliding over our heads. Two satellites smashed into each other, a Russian (Kosmos-2251) and an Iridium communications satellite. They broke into thousands of pieces, only 600 pieces are trackable. The debris field is spreading and may have a cascade affect on other satellites including the Hubble telescope. I’m waiting with stooped shoulders for the impact on the ground, “Please, not my head.”
Suppose the Russians were conducting a test to determine if an old satellite could be used to knock out another satellite, or maybe wipe out communications to a certain area in order to perform some covert ops. Not only am I afraid of space junk, but evil ex-KGB spies. The satellite Iridium-33, is also used as backbone communications by big banks and other financial institutions. Bailout coincidence? It could be as simple as the satellite driver was merely texting.
There was a TV series back in 1977 called ‘Quark’, where the job of the astronauts was to collect space garbage in a large ‘United Galaxy Sanitation Patrol’ spacecraft. It was canceled after the first season. Maybe we should bring it back in reality. Send a garbage collector astronaut up with two beautiful double mint twins, Betty 1 and Betty 2 (clones). Where they could be driving around in orbit, picking up the trash and fighting the evil Gorgons.

Monday, February 9, 2009

Mosquitoes Release Billionaires

So, we have Bill Gates releasing a jar of mosquitoes at a meeting to promote the awareness of Malaria. We are told that the mosquitoes did not carry Malaria; that’s like releasing a bag of rattlesnakes that have their poison sacks removed. They still bite and breed. I hope that the mosquitoes were native to the area, otherwise, he might be introducing a sub species into a different environment. Wouldn't it have been better to release a few hummingbirds or a mosquito eating fish?

Friday, February 6, 2009

Horse Feathers and Oats

Oatmeal is for horses. When I was a kid, we ate hot cereal or mush as we called it. Cream of Rice, Corn Meal, Ralston, Cream of Wheat, Malto Meal and my favorite Wheat Hearts (which General Mills decided to drop when nobody took the time to cook anymore). No one really had time for breakfast anymore. Or was it that the real reason was that gluten was worth more on the market as a commodity and instant was suddenly born and some cereals like Wheat Hearts just didn’t taste good without gluten. Once in awhile we ate oatmeal, it was mainly for horses, cows and prisoners of war. Currently if you go to the cereal section of the grocery store, it consists mainly of oatmeal products, hot cereal and cold Cheerios this, Fruit Loops that, even Yogurt flavored Cheerios, Blech!
More than sixty percent of cereal on the shelves is oatmeal related. One of the most disgusting flavors is Muslix, who in their right mind would eat something called Muslix. Before buying check the expiration date, it’s been there awhile.
While we are on the subject of gluten, there’s a disease called Celiac, which has all the bad symptoms of IBS. Apparently people with Celiac are lactose intolerant and have bad reactions with gluten. Take all the gluten out of the cereals for IBS, why are these people even eating cereal with milk anyway?
What is the real reason for removing gluten from cereal and bread? Ever notice how Wonder Bread isn’t so wonderful anymore? Because, gluten as a commodity is worth more than the wheat that it is extracted from. It’s used in cosmetics, pet food, dog chews, vegan meat, biodegradable packaging, paper whitener, inks and oh, did I forget to mention bug insecticide.
Put the gluten back in food and take your IBS pills.